


Ilsa´s advice

by Carokation



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Benji and Ethan having a fight, Benji gets a little drunk, Ilsa is giving advice, M/M, Post-Mission, Unresolved Feelings, nervous Benji, overprotective Ethan Hunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28318620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carokation/pseuds/Carokation
Summary: Benji and Ethan are having a fight about Ethan being overprotective. Benji flees the savehouse and gets himself drunk in a seedy diner. How will that turn out? And will Ilsa´s advice be good enough to help them resolve their issues?
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Misunderstandings

Ethan and Benji were having a heated discussion about their latest mission while laying low in a run-down safehouse in the outskirts of London. 

While that was nothing new, this time Benji was particular upset about the way Ethan had deliberately been giving him the least dangerous part although the blonde wanted to take more responsibility for the team, as he had told him before. Ethan wasn´t hearing anything of it though. While the mission was structured in a way which would have made it possible for Benji to become more actively involved, he had been sitting in a van most of the time. Not surprisingly, Ethan had been in the centre of action, collecting more than a few nasty looking bruises and marks.

“Maybe, if I would have been there beside you, you wouldn´t look so battered now,” Benji remarked pointedly, watching Ethan suffering silently with a grim but stoic expression while he patched up his wounds. Benji had helped him with the worst ones and was now settling down with the tea he made earlier.

“It´s not so bad, Benji. Look, I have barely a few scratches, you know as well as I do that this is nothing.”

“That´s not the point, Ethan! The point is, you are deliberately keeping me away from the action.” Benji scolded heatedly and took a big gulp of his tea to calm himself. Sadly, it was already lukewarm and tasting bitter so he nearly spitted it out. So much for calming down. Grimacing, he listened to Ethan’s answer.

“Come on, that´s not true. You´ve had plenty of dangerous jobs during our missions. It just wasn´t necessary for you to join me in the building. I needed you on the comms!”

“So, you´re saying that next time, there will be more to do for me?”

Ethan shook his head, looking slightly annoyed now. “That depends.”

“Oh? Depends on what? Whether you think I can handle it or whether you´re feeling like the need of someone actually helping you fight the bad guys is bigger than your fucking need to protect everyone, me especially? I´m not your little baby brother, Ethan! I´m a full member of the team and I would just like to feel like it now and then.”

Ethan opened his mouth and closed it again, clearly feeling unnerved by Benji´s objections. 

“I´m not viewing you as my baby brother, Benji,” he finally said in a strained voice, but keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the band-aid he was about to apply. 

Benji crinkled his eyebrows in doubt, how could he belief someone who wasn´t even looking him in the eye while speaking? Ethan´s reaction was just showing him that he didn´t thought him to be as tough as the others and fully able to take care of himself. Disappointed, he took the last pitiful gulp of his nearly cold tea before standing up.

“Fine. You know what, I´m going out for dinner. Maybe you will take the time to really think about it then,” he added ill-humouredly, before grabbing his jacket and vigorously putting it on. 

“Wait, what?! You can´t go out now, you know the rules! I forbid it!” Ethan was really angry now, using his position as Benji´s boss to try and make him stay. Benji wasn´t having any of it, though. Not after been humiliated like that. 

“Fuck you,” Benji screamed, slamming the door behind him. 

He never saw Ethan desperately taking his head in his hands after he was gone.


	2. A different reasoning

In sight of a cheap looking diner with some rather dubious figures hanging about, Benji finally slowed down. Although it didn´t look very welcoming, the fact that he hadn´t eaten since hours made him go inside. Automatically choosing a place at the very back, where he had the best overview of the room including the entrance, he studied the laminated menu. After ordering the least appalling of the choices along with a beer, he internally debated whether or not he should call someone to distract him or just eat his dinner in the pity of his self-chosen isolation. Reluctant to bother anyone at dinner time, he decided to wait at least until after his meal and maybe another beer or two, because why not. 

Feeling a bit better but still not quite ready to turn back to Ethan, he eventually called Ilsa, yet another beer standing in front of him. 

“Benji? What happened?”, she answered the phone, surprised to hear from him. 

“Why do you think something happened?” Benji mumbled, his voice slightly slurred.

“How many beers did you drink?” Ilsa sounded disapprovingly. 

“Clearly not enough,” Benji was countering, not liking to be reprimanded yet again. Maybe he shouldn´t have called her after all, but now it was too late.

“What happened?” Ilsa repeated her question more forcefully. 

“Had a fight with Ethan,” Benji sighted. “He was holding me back in our last mission. Hardly let me leave the van. And that although he clearly could´ve better used me joining his side, when the mission was going bollocks. I told him so and he couldn´t even admit that I was right! He´s driving me crazy! I wanted to help him, to help the team, but clearly, he doesn´t think so high of my fighting abilities. I didn´t pass the field agent test at first try for nothing! I may not be nearly as talented as Ethan is – no one is – but I´m good enough to stand my ground! I could have helped him!”  
Following his ramble, he gulped down half of his beer in a meagre attempt to calm himself.

“Benji, stop drinking this minute and listen to me,” Ilsa told him in a sharp voice, demanding his attention. Benji huffed, but set down his beer, ready to listen. He wanted advice, after all. 

“If Ethan had hold you back, he did it because he cares about you. Because that´s how Ethan is, he puts himself into danger without even thinking what might happen to him and how that might affect other people. Because he already lost people dear to him in the past and doesn´t ever want to go through that again.” 

She took a deep breath before continuing. 

“So, if he was deliberately leaving you out of a danger zone, it means that he was scared of losing you. He would rather die than let anything happen to you. And I know he still feels responsible for what Lane did put you trough, so I´m not surprised that he´s a bit overprotective around you. You mustn´t think that he doesn´t see you as an equal team member. I´m sure he does. I know he´s got the highest opinion of you – that much is obvious – and you really needn´t worry about his trust in you. I´ve seen how he looks at you, Benji. He adores you!” 

Benji was clinging to his beer, feeling bewildered. He didn´t know what to think of Ilsa´s reasoning. Especially the last part. He was sure he had seen that admiration Ilsa talked about, when he looked her in the eyes, not him. Or did he really think so much of him? Benji remembered how Ethan let him stay and help him in London – but that had been before he fucked up and let himself be kidnapped by Lane. How could he look up to him after that? 

“Is that true?” he eventually said to Ilsa, doubt heavy in his voice. The latter sighted noticeably over the phone, losing her patience.

“Yes Benji, it is. I might not now him as well as you do, but I can see it when someone is head over heels in love with someone!” 

Benji gasped, shocked. “Wh… What do you mean, in love with someone? I thought you were… How do you mean that?” he stammered, his heartrate increasing.

Ilsa huffed, noticing how Benji nearly implied her and Ethan being together. 

“Oh Benji, surely you must´ve worked out some of it until now, haven´t you?” she laughed. “The first moment I saw the two of you together, saw how you worked in perfect harmony, I knew you two had a strong connection. It wasn´t until later though, that I noticed the little signs. How Ethan always tends to stand closest to you, how often he casually touches you, how he always brightens up when you enter the room. Much the same as you, by the way. It was quite plain for everyone to see, to be honest.” 

Benji blinked hard, wondering if he was awake. Maybe he was just dreaming this up, it sounded to good to be true. 

“Benji? Are you still there?” Ilsa sounded slightly worried. 

“Yeah.” Benji answered with a slight tremble in his voice. “I don´t... You really think he´s in love with me? Ethan Hunt?” he sounded still shocked, but a little more hopeful. 

“Yes, he is,” Ilsa answered softly, relieved that he was finally taking it for real. 

“What should I do now?” Benji panicked slightly.

“Go back to him. Tell him you love him. As for the argument you had, point out how you feel when you watch him taking all of the risks alone and ask how he would feel if it was the other way round. That will make him think. Simple as that.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Benji grumbled. He wasn´t so sure he would be able to get those words over his lips in front of Ethan though. But at least he was in way better spirits now. 

“But thanks anyway,” he told Ilsa, sounding much better than at the beginning of their phone call. 

“If you are right, maybe he won’t kill me because of breaking the rules after all,” Benji joked, making Ilsa chuckle. 

“Nice to hear you are back. Now hurry back, you know how Ethan hates waiting without purpose.” Ilsa said her goodbye. Benji wished her a good night and took out his wallet to pay.

Even if he was still a bit uncertain, Ilsa´s advice at the very least gave him the courage to go back and face Ethan. How that would play out, well, that would depend heavily on Ethan´s reaction and on the question of his feelings. One way or another, it would do them good. For Ilsa made him realise that it would be better for the both of them to know on what ground they stood then to have this wall of uncertainty forever between them.


	3. The way home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji makes his way back. An incident awaits him though.

On his way out, Benji nearly stumbled over a chair – the beer was making his walk slightly wobbly. But he didn´t care – the need of getting back to Ethan was all that was present in his mind right now. 

Maybe that was the reason why he didn´t noticed the figure standing in the shadow and staring greedily at the bulge where his purse was, when he got to the crossing of a small side street not far from the diner. Nor did he saw the foot sticking out right in front of his way until it was too late and he was already crashing down, painfully landing flat on his face. He felt blood running down his nose and dizzily looked up, when someone grabbed at him – no at his wallet – belatedly recognizing one of the guys who had been standing in front of the diner earlier. 

Luckily, his field agent skills weren´t for nothing and despite his rather drunken state, he managed to grab the arm of the offender before he could run away. Or maybe it just was his adrenaline caused by the panic rising at the prospect of losing his fake papers and having to explain that fact to Ethan. 

The offender tried to free his arm, pulling at him strongly, but Benji wouldn´t let go and used the force of his opponent to get himself up on his feet again.

Seeing that his tactic didn´t work, the man now seemed to remember that he got legs as well and started kicking him viciously. Gasping from a mean hit to his stomach, Benji momentarily loosened his grip, causing the criminal to tore himself free, still holding the wallet in his hand. Cursing, Benji immediately set after him as he started to run down the side street. He wasn´t Ethan Hunt and his thief had a small head start, but he did have a lot of training, so hopefully he would be able to wear him out soon enough. 

Racing around a corner, the thief looked behind him to see if he was still being followed. That was his mistake since it slowed him down just enough for Benji to being able to spring at him and pull him down forcefully, letting him taste some of his own medicine. 

Loosing no time, Benji tore his wallet out of the culprit´s hand and quickly put it away in the inner pocket of his jacked (just to be sure), while still keeping him on the ground like a cop would hold down a criminal. “If I ever see you again, I will not hesitate to call the police!” Benji threatened him in his darkest voice before jumping up and hurriedly making his way back to the safe house. After some meters, he checked whether the thief would dare to follow him, but thankfully the latter seemed to have changed his mind, just staring after him mournfully and brushing the dirt from his trousers.

Shortly before arriving at the safe house, Benji took out a tissue and dabbed at his nose, trying to rub away the blood as much as possible. Thankfully it wasn´t bleeding any more. Finally standing in front of the door, he took a deep breath to sort his thoughts before entering.


	4. Ethan´s reaction

As soon as he entered the tiny living area, Ethan looked up from his laptop. Within two seconds, his facial expression first switched from relief with a tint of anger to worry. “Benji,” he exclaimed, closing his laptop to fully concentrate on the younger agent, “what happened?” 

Benji shrugged his shoulders, feeling embarrassed. “Someone tried to rob me on my way back. It´s no big deal, I got my wallet back, see?” he waved the item to show it to Ethan. 

The latter wasn´t even looking at it though, his eyes were scanning Benji from head to toe, making him feel even more uncomfortable. Benji nervously shifted his weight from one leg to the other, apparently, he looked worse than he thought. The next second, Ethan took two big steps and was standing right in front of the younger agent. And as if that wasn´t already enough to increase Benji´s heartrate, he took his chin in one hand and stared intently on his face, examining his nose at close range. Satisfied that it wasn´t broken (which Benji could´ve told him himself, but he didn´t exactly trust his voice right now, not with Ethan being so very close), Ethan let his hand drop to his side and took a small step back, sighting lightly. 

Benji meanwhile took a deep breath, noticing just now that he had hold it for seconds. Damn, his well-prepared speech (well, more or less) had just vanished into nirvana. That was what Ethan´s closeness did to him. 

“No other wounds? You´re alright?” Ethan wanted to know. “I´m fine,” Benji managed to say with some emphasis. Ethan was still standing quite close to him, closer than normal. His heartrate was still elevated. He was still a bit dizzy from the amount of beer he drunk and the ridiculous race after the thief, although he had no intention sharing that fact with Ethan. He was worried enough as it was.

Sadly, the smell of beer didn´t escape Ethan´s senses. “How much did you drink?” 

“Not that much or I wouldn´t have overrun a thief,” Benji tried to appease him.

Ethan wasn´t exactly happy about his consume, Benji could tell from the way he frowned, but to give him credit, he didn´t say anything, just looked at him in a way that clearly stated “don´t do that again”.

“Ahem, can we sit?” Benji asked, he really needed more space to be able to think clearly again. Besides that, he was starting to get tired and he hadn´t even began telling Ethan any of the things he wanted to tell him. If he still had the heart for it today, that is. 

“Sure,” Ethan quickly made space for him, sitting on the sofa and invitingly tapping on the place beside him. Benji made his way to the sofa more slowly and made sure he had a little distance to Ethan, when he sat down. He thought, Ethan looked a bit disappointed at that, but maybe it was just his imagination. 

Now that he was here, he wasn´t so sure of what Ilsa had told him anymore. It was difficult to, giving that he had been into Ethan for years and never noticed him liking him back in that way. Yes, he had always been friendly to him and their friendship definitely had grown closer over time, but he also was a man of exceptional professional behaviour, and had never crossed the line of friendly behaviour when interacting with Benji. Still, he had to tell him something. Even if it was just an apology for breaking the rules and acting against Ethan´s direct command. No to speak about the reason for it.

“Ethan,” he started, or tried to, but the older agent said his name at the same time, making both of them pause. “You first,” Benji said quickly, as it would give him some more time to rethink what he was going to tell him. 

Ethan smiled slightly, amused from his eagerness to let him speak first. 

“Benji,” he started again, turning serious. “I´m sorry for my behaviour. I´ve thought about it and you were right – I controlled you way too much, pushed you away from the action. I didn´t thought it would bother you that much.” When Benji opened his mouth to protest, he quickly continued, “I know now, though. You made that pretty clear earlier.” 

Ethan shook his head sadly, staring into distance while going on, “I never thought you would think that you were in any way less competent than the rest of the team.” 

He locked his eyes with Benji´s now, keeping the contact as if to empathise his following words. “You must never think that! In fact, you are the most extraordinary, the worthiest field agent I´ve ever met! And I´m telling you this way too late, I´m sorry!” 

To hear Ethan´s prise of him in combination with his adorable and earnest expression melted Benji´s heart melt entirely, forming a pitying puddle somewhere in the depths of his being. It wasn´t heard often that Ethan was apologising to someone. In fact, it was a rather rare occurrence. And if he did, he really meant it. So maybe there was some hope for Benji´s affection after all. 

Benji smiled while he stored away this precious moment in his memory to be remembered forever.

But Ethan wasn´t finished yet. 

“But I´m afraid that I had another reason for keeping you out of the heat, and I think that I owe you to tell you. It´s just, I don´t want you to feel obliged in any way to anything. And I don´t want to ruin our friendship either,” Ethan added, slight tremble in his voice. 

Benji was astonished, he had never seen Ethan so vulnerable. He also had a hopeful feeling that he knew what would follow, so he wanted to make it easier for him. 

“I love you too,” he quickly said, before his voice of warning became too loud. Luckily, the latter was dimmed down enough by the alcohol in his blood to be somewhat suppressed for now. Benji grinned nervously, waiting for Ethan’s answer. 

The experienced agent blinked in surprise, his eyes widening. He was totally baffled. He opened his mouth and closed it again, before finally finding his voice back. 

“You do?” he asked huskily with wonder in his eyes. 

Benji´s face softened as he observed Ethan´s hopeful expression. “I do,” he confirmed.

Ethan´s expression quickly transformed into a beaming smile, showing his white teeth. 

“I love you,” he affirmed in a warm and rich voice, leaning closer to Benji. The blonde likewise leaned closer, staring into Ethan´s beautiful face until he was so close that their breaths mingled. Skipping the rest of the distance, Benji finally did what he had wanted to do for a long time: kissing Ethan. 

When their lips met, it was like a sensual explosion and they both adjusted their seats to be even closer, heavily leaning into the kiss. Benji felt Ethan´s hand in his hair and nearly shivered from the pleasant feeling. He ran his hand down Ethan´s back and side, exploring his well-defined body. Ethan started the same, sliding a hand under Benji´s shirt. This time, he couldn´t supress a shudder. Ethan took this as encouragement, placing his other hand on Benji´s high side and moving it slowly and sensually downwards.

Benji was feeling like heaven. It was highly intoxicating to be surrounded by Ethan in this way. Pressing closer to him, he closed his eyes, fully concentration on every inch on skin which was touched by Ethan. Heat and pleasure were rushing through him. He wanted this to never stop. And it wouldn´t anytime soon. They had all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome!! Hope you enjoyed this work :)


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